Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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