he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
