so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
