what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
