I wannas sexs uuuuu
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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