I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
