Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I smell stomach acid.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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