So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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