Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
