My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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