I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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