Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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