just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Michael Bay diarrhea
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
