ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
