hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
