Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
