Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
there's paper in my vomit.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
