What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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