is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
