It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
