So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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