new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I wish i was in the wii world.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
