I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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