I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
