so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
