Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
