Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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