I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Randomize
