I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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