I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
