you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
