I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Watching her eat just hurts me
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
