I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
