I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
