i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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