So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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