she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
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