hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
