Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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