So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
