Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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