Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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