Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
