Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
