just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
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I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
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Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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