Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
