what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize