i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Randomize