She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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