Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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