Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
she pinky promised me she was 18
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm getting married
To pizza
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
