and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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