i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize