I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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