and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You can't just leave with hair like that
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
