Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
