Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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