I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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