A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Randomize
