Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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